Joke 002

The Wonderful Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on
a bench rings and a man engages the free speaker function and
begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, 🐝it's me... R u at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I'm at the City Centre mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000
Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you really like it.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2013 Models.
I saw one ,I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: '$98,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price make sure it comes with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house 🏡I wanted last year is back on the market.
They're asking for $980,000/-.'

MAN: 'well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They will
probably take it. If not, go the extra 50 thousand if you think it's really a pretty good price.'

WOMAN: 'OK.  I'll see you later!
I love you so much!  You’re so generous!'

MAN: “You’re worth it.  'Bye!'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, with mouths wide open

The wonderful husband turns and asks: "Anybody know whose phone this is?"

Joke 001

LAUGHTER THE BEST MEDICINE

(1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife..... baby doll
3rd wife.....china doll
2nd wife.....barbie doll
1st wife..... panadol !

(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name.....
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him "is it In Dear?"...

(4) RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh
milk & 2 big papayas, while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1tea-spoon of starch!

(5) ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
'Your name pls.'?
"Abdul Aziz "
"Sex? "
"Six times a week!! "
"No, no, I mean male or female! "
"Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !"

(6) SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be
satisfied with self-service"

(7) HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

(8) SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

(9) GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Because it is the only profession where you can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

(10) DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

(11) VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read : BORN
A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 year girl.
On their first night both were crying. Why ?
Because she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.