Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Joke 002

The Wonderful Husband

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A mobile phone on
a bench rings and a man engages the free speaker function and
begins to talk.
Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: 'Hello'

WOMAN: 'Honey, 🐝it's me... R u at the club?'

MAN: 'Yes'

WOMAN: 'I'm at the City Centre mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000
Is it OK if I buy it?'

MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you really like it.'

WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2013 Models.
I saw one ,I really liked.'

MAN: 'How much?'

WOMAN: '$98,000'

MAN: 'OK, but for that price make sure it comes with all the options.'

WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing, the house 🏡I wanted last year is back on the market.
They're asking for $980,000/-.'

MAN: 'well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They will
probably take it. If not, go the extra 50 thousand if you think it's really a pretty good price.'

WOMAN: 'OK.  I'll see you later!
I love you so much!  You’re so generous!'

MAN: “You’re worth it.  'Bye!'

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, with mouths wide open

The wonderful husband turns and asks: "Anybody know whose phone this is?"

Monday, August 25, 2014

转载 - 教养

http://jalong.blogspot.com/2014/08/blog-post_25.html

教养

名家传达为人父母者,如何塑造自己认为最适当的儿女模式,金玉良言让你我读得受用之极,且让令伯抄下来与大家分享:

【家庭教育方式很重要】              
★宠出来的孩子――危险
★捧出来的孩子――霸道
★惯出来的孩子――任性
★娇出来的孩子――脆弱
★打出来的孩子――逆反
★骂出来的孩子――胡涂
★逼出来的孩子――出格
★磨出来的孩子――坚强
★苦出来的孩子――懂事
★教出来的孩子――传统
★闯出来的孩子――勇敢
★搏出来的孩子――成功
★表扬出的孩子――自信
★溺爱出的孩子――依赖
★哄出来的孩子――虚伪
★纵容出的孩子――傲慢

指责中长大的孩子,将来容易怨天尤人。
敌意中长大的孩子,将来容易好斗逞强。
恐惧中长大的孩子,将来容易畏首畏尾。
怜悯中长大的孩子,将来容易自怨自艾。
嘲讽中长大的孩子,将来容易消极退缩。
嫉妒中长大的孩子,将来容易钩心斗角。
羞辱中长大的孩子,将来容易心怀内疚。
容忍中长大的孩子,将来必能极富耐性。

『孩子是父母的镜子,父母是孩子的榜样』--------  当父母的要小心了!


Friday, August 22, 2014

Fun 140803 @ China


Balotelli: A Bold Move, Or Virtual Insanity?

http://tomkinstimes.com/2014/08/balotelli-a-bold-move-or-virtual-insanity/

By Paul Tomkins.
Wow, I genuinely didn’t see this coming. The first word I associate with Mario Balotelli is bargepole. As in, don’t go near him with one.
That said, £16m for his talent is a steal. But why are AC Milan letting him go quite so cheaply? Once penalties are excluded he has a very good goalscoring record there in a poor team (with penalties it’s an excellent record, but Steven Gerrard still takes Liverpool’s spot-kicks). Why do people keep offloading him? Why always him?
Obviously he may now be starting to grow up; but frankly, he needs to.
Balotelli-Milan
Why always him?
Lots of people on Twitter telling me Balo is like Sturridge was, but I don’t recall Sturridge fighting with managers on the training ground and apparently getting sent off on purpose, let alone pulling crazy stunts away from the game. Sturridge left City by his choice, did very well on loan at Bolton, so was only a failure at Chelsea in that he couldn’t get into the team despite a good run of form. He was 22. Balo has been sold by Inter, City and now, it seems, AC Milan. He’s 24. Yes, there are similarities, but by contrast, the Italian has a far longer rap sheet.
Other people have told me he’s like Suarez, but Suarez is the epitome of a player who gives his all out on the pitch. It’s easier to carry a madmen if he’s carrying his own weight, and more.
The Balotelli from Euro 2012 – big, strong, skilful, determined – was worth £50m. The one who played his final season at City looked barely worth 50p. A good behaviour clause seems essential, because he’s someone who, it seems, can piss everyone off; even if, like Suarez, he’s an easy target for sections of the media who, on occasions, overstate his shortcomings.
Brendan Rodgers and Dr Steve Peters have their work cut out, but he’s worth the risk at that price, assuming that the whole squad doesn’t become toxic. I think managers can show favouritism, and it not lead to unrest, if it’s given to a star like Suarez. I don’t think you can indulge those who are not trying, unless they can stroll around a pitch and still score a hat-trick.
Craig Bellamy – a gobshite of an opponent if ever there was one –was twice worth the risk, but once he took a golf club to a team-mate in 2007 he had to be let go, not least because he wasn’t delivering much on the pitch. A club can carry disputes between two players, but it can’t carry disputes between two factions. As long as Rodgers can manage to keep everyone happy, then why not go for Balotelli? The question is, can he keep everyone happy? And will splits appear?
Rather than Sturridge, Balotelli reminds me of Stan Collymore – the lack of effort behind the scenes (missing training) and the examples of sulking on the pitch, in between moments of magic; a great player who had amazing spells when the world was at his feet, but who ultimately found himself offloaded by every manager after a year or two. Suarez was trouble, but he never got sent off, worked harder than the mere water carriers and never upset his own team-mates or manager in training. This is a different player entirely. Suarez was emotional, rather than moody.
The reverse is that while Balotelli runs the risk of red cards, and could possibly ruin Sturridge’s mojo, he’s not one bite away from a two-year ban. He may cause lots of small problems, but Suarez was starting to represent one big one.
So I’m half excited, half terrified. At £30m, which Balotelli should be worth at his age and with his talent, I’d say it was a 50-50 bet. At £16m it’s perhaps 70-30 in his favour, if you want to be generous, but there’s always the risk of a violently upset apple-cart. Squad harmony is probably worth £100m a season, in that talent, without unity, will not bring success.
Either way, strap in, boys and girls: the ride is gonna be bumpy, but it should be fun.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

鄭梅嬌‧惡霸是被縱容出來的 - 转载

2014-08-12 09:53
惡霸的張揚,是良善的消減;惡霸,往往也是旁人造就的,因為越多人容忍,惡霸就肆無忌憚,繼續作惡變本加厲。
家中有個孩子是小惡霸,一向喜愛欺負兄弟姐妹,若沒有人阻止,任其多次作惡,久了食髓知味就習以為常。
在社會如是,惡霸的練就,馴良的大多數難辭其咎。寬容自是美德,甚至可能感化人心,但過度的寬容卻也造就更多“得寸進尺”的人。
我的經驗是,小惡霸作惡時,大人會覺得那是小事,仿佛大人若計較了就是太小氣;親戚朋友會礙於不要讓對方難堪,於是大家就忍,忍久了,人人坐視不理無人管,惡霸沒有踢過鐵板,於是就越惡霸。
莫說做惡霸是甚麼理由、甚麼原因,惡霸或是天性,或是有可憐的原因,但就是惡霸!
惡霸帶來的後果,不是造就更多惡霸以暴制暴,就是生產更多被欺壓者,兩者皆悲。寬容是美德但惡霸應該被對付、嚇阻,更好的結果是讓他知錯反省。
近來,也不知是幸,還是不幸,網絡的無遠弗屆,有時讓惡霸無所遁形,惡行公諸於眾,好讓大眾一窺惡霸的惡形惡狀,有大快人心之感。
不要用100個理由來解釋欺人或打人的原因,無論是籐條孫還是火爆姐,不理智而失控的行徑必須被阻止。
平時,遇惡霸我們也不能拿他怎麼樣,不想正面交鋒就是走避,可是現在有個地方可以公論,也算是舒坦人心,它們的受落,揭示了人人除惡的願望,人心嚮望良善的本質。
雖然網絡時有不幸,成為人們說謊、誹謗或抹黑的溫床,但也能揭發都市底層的醜陋,端看人們如何運用;霸惡被上鏡,舉世滔滔來評說,更是警醒其他惡霸“候選人”,要放肆,且慢。
想做惡霸?小心鏡頭對準你,千萬雙眼睛看著你,七嘴八舌盯住你,總有一天,總有個機會,多行不義必自斃。(星洲日報/筆下真情‧作者:鄭梅嬌‧《星洲日報》首席記者)


點看全文: http://opinions.sinchew.com.my/node/33642?tid=37#ixzz3B091q7Um 
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匪徒新招 20140819 - 转载

路上撒錢誘下車‧匪徒新招偷車上財物

  • (圖:互聯網)
警方今午在面子書發佈文告,指稱最近有歹徒在路上撒錢,引誘駕駛人士下車後,伺機偷走車上的手提袋等財物。
警方指出,歹徒通常是一對男女,女嫌犯敲打司機位的車鏡引起司機的注意後,指向後輪方向,示意有錢掉在地上。
當司機下車查看時,男嫌犯便從一旁閃出,快速上車偷走車上的財物。
為免成為受害者,警方勸告公眾若發現被陌生人跟蹤,切記勿立刻上車,反之走向安全的地方;上車前應四處張望,確保四周環境安全,並且勿將轎車泊在僻靜的地方。
(星洲日報)

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

笑笑 - 第一话


http://jalong.blogspot.com/2014/08/blog-post_20.html


性骚扰
妈妈对女儿说:如果有人对你性骚扰,摸上面就说‘不要’,摸下面就说‘停’。
隔天,女儿被性骚扰了,哭着回来向妈妈说,妈妈听完女儿的话后很生气的说:你有拒绝那个人吗?
女儿用很无辜的眼神看着妈妈点点头说:那个人上下一起摸,所以我说‘不要….停’!

错别字
一名中年妇女到医院看病,正巧碰到这样一位‘赤脚医生’。中年妇女自述拇指发炎,医生看了看患者的拇指,决定拍张X光片,于是顺手写了一张检查单,对患者说道:去放射科。
这名妇女看了看检查单,愕了一下,没敢多问就转身走了。
第二天,这名妇女带着儿子来到医院放射科,要求拍张母子合影的照片。放射科医生非常奇怪,于是告诉患者,医院不是照相馆。
但这妇女坚持说是医生让他们来的,并拿出检查单。放射科医生打开一看,只见上面写着『母子照相』!
                                                                                                                                            
 牙痛
公园有一对恋人正在甜蜜,女孩撒娇说:老公,我牙痛~~!男孩于是吻了女孩一口问:还疼吗?女孩说不痛了!一会儿女孩又撒娇的说:老公,我脖子痛!男孩又吻了吻女孩儿的脖子,又问这回还疼吗?女孩很开心的说:不痛了!
旁边一老太太站着看了半天,忍不住上前问小伙子说:小伙子你真神了,你能治痔疮不?